


Cliterference

by leftennant



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Crack, F/M, OT3, Smuff, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-09
Updated: 2014-06-09
Packaged: 2018-02-03 23:42:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1759863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leftennant/pseuds/leftennant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose adjusted the bunny ears perched precariously on the top of her head with a shaking hand and wondered yet again just how the hell they had been able to talk her into this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cliterference

**Author's Note:**

  * For [callistawolf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/callistawolf/gifts), [Endelda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Endelda/gifts).



> Um... So there is a decent amount of very smutty, somewhat cracky OT3 going on here. I am unapologetic. 
> 
> Beta'd by the lovely Callistawolf

Rose adjusted the bunny ears perched precariously on the top of her head with a shaking hand and wondered yet again just how the hell they had been able to talk her into this.

*****Console Room: One Hour Earlier*****

“C’mon, Rose. It’ll be fun. Just think, the Playboy Mansion grotto. It’s iconic!”

“I dunno,” she replied as the part human Doctor smiled winningly at her from the jumpseat, “what if we get caught?”

“I’ll put the TARDIS on silent,” the other Doctor assured her. “No one will even know we’re there. Besides, we’ll land her on Sunday. Nothing ever happens on Sunday. The whole place is sure to be deserted.”

“We’re talking about the Playboy Mansion, yeah? Isn’t that place always mobbed?” She bit a thumbnail and stared at the two of them sitting there, one brown and one blue, like the sexiest matching bookends in the history of the universe.

“Five AM Sunday morning, then. No one will be there. Just us, in the grotto. Alone.” The Doctor in blue waggled his eyebrows suggestively at her.

She hesitated.

“You’ll get to wear your bunny costume again,” the Doctor in brown coaxed. “Remember what happened the last time you wore it? As I recall, it turned into a very, very memorable night.”

“A memorable night with multiple orgasms,” the part human Doctor added. 

Rose _did_ remember that night, in fact. Vividly. It was those very memories that led her to this very moment at the Playboy Mansion, inside the grotto, with two Doctors kissing their way up her thighs after some very clever breaking and entering involving landing the TARDIS behind the private zoo. 

Which is why her bunny ears kept tumbling off. Both Doctors were in the water between her knees, completely starkers, and each time she dropped her chin to watch them, the stupid ears fell forward. Finally she plucked them off and made as if to toss them across the artificial cave when her wrist was caught and held in a gentle grip.

“Don’t,” the full Time Lord said, “you’ll ruin the effect.”

“I _knew_ this was about you,” she crowed triumphantly. “All that talk of multiple orgasms and it’s really because you have some sort of bunny fetish.”

“No, I have some sort of Rose Tyler fetish. And Rose Tyler in fancy dress as a Playboy Bunny is well…top notch really. Although Rose Tyler not dressed at all is even better,” he said with a smirk, working a finger between the top of her satin bodysuit and her skin, so he could pull it down to expose more of her breasts to him. “But the ears… If you had any idea how utterly, incredibly delectable you look in them. It’s the whole sexy-yet-innocent thing, isn’t it? You’re aware it’s why Hefner made such a goldmine in the first place, yes? He found the perfect combination of come-hither yet unaware that drove men mad.” 

“A bit like a certain blonde companion, we know,” the other Doctor said, gently removing the ears from her hand and fastening them back into place in her head. He adjusted all the pins to make sure it stayed put this time. “All those wide open smiles, full of teeth and that naughty little tongue just peeking out between?” 

He caressed her cheek, catching her under the chin and tilting her head up for a blazing hot kiss. Rose moaned as his tongue slid into her mouth and stroked over hers. Meanwhile, the full Time Lord Doctor had managed to work a hand around her back and pull the zip on her bodysuit down far enough that he could free her breasts. He began kissing his way across her collarbone and down her chest. She gasped into the other Doctor’s mouth as his twin pulled a nipple into his mouth, running his tongue over the hard peak and sucking gently. 

She arched into the sensation, bringing her hands up so she could twine her fingers in their hair. The part human Doctor reached across and began to pinching and rolling her other nipple between his fingers as she writhed on the stone edge of the grotto above them. He moved his mouth to her neck, licking and nibbling his way down to her breast, and replacing his fingers with his lips.

“God,” Rose said.

“Time Lord,” they both countered immediately with identical smugness.

She might have smacked them if they weren’t so terribly good at this. “Gits.”

“Guilty as charged,” one of them said, she wasn’t sure which as her eyes were closed.

“What do you want now, Rose Tyler?” the Doctor who’s brown suit was now lying in a heap across the grotto asked. “Our mouths lower? Fingers stroking you inside?” 

She whimpered. 

“Oh yes,” the other Doctor said, “It’s been at least eleven hours since we’ve tasted you.”

“Has it?” she practically moaned as clever fingers insinuated themselves under the seam of her bodysuit where it met her inner thigh and pulled it over, exposing her to their heated gazes.

The full Time Lord inclined his head and ran his tongue over her slick folds. “Far, far too long,” he murmured.

“Mmm,” the part human Doctor hummed in agreement. “How very negligent on our part, but…” He ducked down so he could slowly drag his tongue over her clit. “…easily remedied.”

Rose dug her fingers into the artificial stone and spread her legs a bit further apart to accommodate both of them. They moved forward eagerly, and even though it wasn’t the first time they’d done this, she was still awed by the sight of those two heads both bent to the task of pleasing her. 

One of them, the Time Lord she thought, due to the cooler temperature, had brought a slender finger into play. It was tracing delicately around her entrance, teasingly slipping in just a bit and then retreating. Another finger joined it, warmer now, the other Doctor then. She shuddered from the idea of it as much as from the sensation.

“More. Please,” she begged, and they were happy to comply.

The fingers slid deeper, moving in tandem and curling against her inside, finding the one spot they both knew would drive her spare. A greedy mouth fastened over her clit, tongue flicking over her mercilessly. Her legs began to tremble on either side of their heads, and she could feel the identical sideburns tickling against them as she struggled to hold herself upright under the dual onslaught. 

Rose was getting close. The waves of arousal that had been coursing through her body were beginning to spiral down into something taut and needy. It wouldn’t take much, just a few more licks, a few more thrusts of those clever fingers and…

“Stop running cliterference!” a voice hissed from the vicinity of her thighs.

The mouth on her clit abruptly left. “I’m not.”

Rose looked down to see the half human Doctor giving the full Time Lord an irate glare. “Yes you are. You haven’t let me near it once this entire time.”

She couldn’t believe it, they were actually going to have a row while she was up here waiting, orgasm fading away into the distance. She was going to kill them both, and if the Time Lord regenerated, she’d kill him again for good measure.

“You do realize that belongs to an actual person. Me, in fact, and I was very, very close before the two of you decided to pitch whatever little fit you are having,” she snapped, blowing a loose strand of fringe off her forehead in annoyance.

They continued arguing as if she hadn’t spoken. Well then, if the Doctors weren’t going to take care of business, Rose was more than capable of doing it on her own. And heaven help them if they expected any sort of reciprocation later. They’d be lucky to get so much as a glance from her.

Ignoring the testosterone fest currently playing out in the pool in front of her, Rose skated one hand up the inside of her thigh and slipped a finger through her wet heat. She’d been so near to release before that it didn’t take more than a few circular motions over her clit to awaken the feelings again. Using two fingers to rub and stroke the little nub, she leaned back against the wall as her hips started to rock. 

A soft moan escaped her mouth, and she bit down on her lip while working herself a bit faster. That sound, quiet though it was, didn’t escape the Doctors, and they turned to her with twin expressions of dismay.

“Fuck!” the part human Doctor exclaimed.

“Yes,” the full Time Lord agreed. “Fuck.”

Rose stopped and crossed her arms over her breasts. “Oh. Hello. Just remembered I was here, did you?” 

The part human Doctor tugged nervously on his ear. “Yes um…about that…”

“We’re very sorry,” the other Doctor interjected.

“So, so sorry. Intensely apologetic,” the part human Doctor interrupted.

Rose quirked an eyebrow at them. “Prove it.”

“Just you wait, Rose Tyler. We’re going to prove it until you scream.”

It didn’t really matter which one of them said that. What did matter is that they immediately returned to her with mouths, and tongues and fingers all working together synchronously. Rose gasped and shook as one tongue swept over her clit, shortly followed by the other, her orgasm quickly building under their expert ministrations. 

Within a minute, she was shouting out their name to the ceiling of the grotto while brilliant reflections of the water beneath flashed and flowed in front of her eyes. They did everything in they could to draw it out, fingers slowing, tongues gentling, and by the end she was quaking above them, nearly sobbing with the power of it.

“Well Rose,” the full Time Lord asked after a few moments of quiet while they allowed her to collect herself, “are we properly penitent?”

She looked down at them both kneeling before her, gorgeous in the shifting light. Her Doctors. “Yeah. Consider yourselves forgiven.”

“So,” the part human Doctor asked, “what do you want to do now?”

“I’m sure we can think of something,” the full Time Lord replied. “Great big grotto, all to ourselves, beautiful girl we love right in front of us.”

“Do I get a vote?” Rose asked teasingly.

“You,” the part human Doctor said, kissing his way up her arm, “get ruling vote and powers of veto,” 

Rose gave him a slow, sultry smile. “Right. Then I think…” She was immediately interrupted by the sound of footsteps on the path outside. “…we should run!”


End file.
